After two and a half years, I am leaving the place that I have come to call home… Malaysia.
Why am I leaving?
Many of the reasons that led me to Malaysia in the first place are the very same things that are causing me to leave. I have a desire for something new, something more and I don’t feel satisfied any more with my life in KL. Does that mean that I didn’t get what I came for? Does it mean that I am not satisfied with my time in Malaysia? Of course not. It just means that my needs and desires have changed and the goalposts have been moved. New boxes have appeared and they aren’t being ticked.
In the two and a half years I have spent as an expat living in KL I have learnt a huge amount about what it is that I actually want in my life, and I have a clearer vision about how to go about getting it. When I first arrived in KL I was buzzing, exciting to be in a new city and I was even more excited to stay and to call it home. So I settled down for a while. I was living in a tropical country, in a place that was just a short trip to the beaches, to paradise. I was working from home in an amazing apartment and I had a ton of friends and a great social life. But there was something deep inside of me that wanted more. An empty space that I felt I couldn’t fill with ‘things’.
What was missing?
I felt that my life had no meaning. I was having a bit of an existential crisis! So I joined the Samaritans (known as the Befrienders in Malaysia). They are an organisation that provides emotional support to those who are feeling depressed or suicidal. I volunteered there providing support to those in need. I felt that by helping others through the difficult times in their lives I would be filling the empty void in my own life. It wasn’t an entirely selfless act. In turn I would feel better about myself.
My experience volunteering there was absolutely amazing and I learnt a huge amount about what it really takes to offer emotional support to someone in need. Those really are skills that I know I will use many times over in my life. But as time went on I realised that still I was not entirely happy with my life.
I still wanted more!
I quit my contract job (as I previously wrote about here) and realised that I needed to be pushing myself towards my own goals and not just being a cog in someone else’s system.
It seems pretty simple in hindsight but that was what was missing from my life before. I needed to be pursuing my own dreams and goals and working on my own projects, and not just working for someone else, stacking cash and living a superficial life full of ‘things’. So I went freelance full time and started to produce my own content. I have so much more passion for work knowing that I am working on projects that I genuinely care about. Projects that are my own.
Often the reason why so many people end up unhappy is because they aren’t following their hearts. What do you truly care about? What are you passionate about? Are you pushing yourself to your fullest potential so that you can live your dream life? If not, what is stopping you? In your current situation, where do you see yourself in 5 years time? What about in 1 year? These are things that I constantly ask myself and through self reflection questions such as these keep me on the right track.
Are you on the right path?
Many of us have this inner desire to live a life that offers us food for our souls. I have been on a bumpy journey of ups and downs searching for that life, and I feel as though I am now one step closer. For me, the risk is worth it. Is it worth it for you? Does your soul need feeding? I know that I have a long journey ahead but at least I know that the path is leading me in the right direction. So ask yourself… where is your path leading you…?
If anyone wants to share their own life experiences with me, I would be more than happy to listen.